Dating: Job Interview or Sales on Commission?
The ideas behind this post were formed over a long time, but they just crystalized when a friend of mine told me her latest lovelife plight (Thanks D!)
Dating: Job Interview or Sales on Commission?
It has long been clear that men and women approach dating differently.
For women, a date is like a job interview, with the woman as the interviewer. The woman tries to decide whether the guy qualifies (handsome enough, rich enough, successful enough, funny enough, trustworthy enough, nice enough, and not-nice enough). The prize - immediate or delayed - is sex. She might go home with the guy at the end of the date. Or she might not. But womens usually are the arbitrers and gatekeepers of sex - partially, of course, because a man would not even ask out a woman they are not attracted to (translation for readers of the fairer sex: "men would not ask out a woman he would not want to have sex with").
Men, on the other hand, have to push their case, with some level of subtelty. Men are supposed to initiate - in other words, sell the women on the idea of their attractiveness, encourage them to make a buying decision ("lets go to my place and listen to some music") and stir clear of objections ("yeah, it might be late, but you don't have to work until 11, do you? besides, you arent tired enough to sleep").
The result is - women feel like they have just walked into RadioShack, where every sales person is on comission - try to shake one and you'll see what I mean. But they do buy - when you go shopping, a purchase is certain, it is the logo on your shopping bag that is in question.
And men - men feel like this is much too much effort. And it is - interviews are hard, and in the dating scene, just like in many interviews, the results of the interviews may be determined in the first 5 minutes. Not the way for a stress free gettogther!
Dating: Job Interview or Sales on Commission?
It has long been clear that men and women approach dating differently.
For women, a date is like a job interview, with the woman as the interviewer. The woman tries to decide whether the guy qualifies (handsome enough, rich enough, successful enough, funny enough, trustworthy enough, nice enough, and not-nice enough). The prize - immediate or delayed - is sex. She might go home with the guy at the end of the date. Or she might not. But womens usually are the arbitrers and gatekeepers of sex - partially, of course, because a man would not even ask out a woman they are not attracted to (translation for readers of the fairer sex: "men would not ask out a woman he would not want to have sex with").
Men, on the other hand, have to push their case, with some level of subtelty. Men are supposed to initiate - in other words, sell the women on the idea of their attractiveness, encourage them to make a buying decision ("lets go to my place and listen to some music") and stir clear of objections ("yeah, it might be late, but you don't have to work until 11, do you? besides, you arent tired enough to sleep").
The result is - women feel like they have just walked into RadioShack, where every sales person is on comission - try to shake one and you'll see what I mean. But they do buy - when you go shopping, a purchase is certain, it is the logo on your shopping bag that is in question.
And men - men feel like this is much too much effort. And it is - interviews are hard, and in the dating scene, just like in many interviews, the results of the interviews may be determined in the first 5 minutes. Not the way for a stress free gettogther!
posted by Unknown at
12:53 AM
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